We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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