Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
