I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
