Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize