Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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