even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
