pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize