please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
