Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I see more hoeing in ur future
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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