Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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