I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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