Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
