At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
