Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
