You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think I am morally bankrupt
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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