i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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