What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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