Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
