you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
And then he peed in my hair
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