It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
