One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
