Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
