Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
