Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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