I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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