when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I take back everything I said about communal showers
How's work?
Spinning.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
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