Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
