im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
