I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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