I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
