I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
