i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
