The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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