you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
