What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Floor bacon is actually really good
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
