I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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