is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
