Ambien. No doubt about it.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
