Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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