instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
