How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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