I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
