thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
