Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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