College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This baby is an asshole
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
