I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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