omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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