WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
