are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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