she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
ok first of all what the fuck
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
