Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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