Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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