Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
