I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
